


If the past me could see these future paths, how glad they would be

by purplefox



Series: Akiren Week2019 [6]
Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Established Relationship, M/M, Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2020-01-12 14:26:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18448433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purplefox/pseuds/purplefox
Summary: Akirenweek day 6 Past/FutureA year was such a short space of time but so many things could happen during it. Some many changes, so many life altering changes. His world had flipped upside down in one year. Akira would have never seen himself on this path a year ago but, a year ago he wouldn't have seen himself this happy





	If the past me could see these future paths, how glad they would be

If the old him had to meet this him now. He would consider him a complete stranger. If Akira had to meet his old self from five years ago, two years ago. Right before that incident or even last year. He would call that person a complete stranger.

That was just how things were. Things had changed at such a fast pace that keeping up had been impossible from the start. He had grown, he had changed and honestly, he was thankful for everything that had happened to him because it had helped him grow.

He was a different person to how he had been back then. Different but not in that big of a way. He had different thoughts, he had different friends yes but it had been past him that enabled him to have what he had now. He could not look down on the old Akira ever.

The old Akira that had thought some things were too troublesome to bother with. The old Akira that had loved the teams he was on. Old Akira that would cram last minute just because. That used to play with cats when his father was not looking.

The old him that was obsessed with arcade games. That had been the afterschool treat for himself once it was not too late. The boy that he had been that had seen that scene all those nights before and decided to get involved. The strong sense of justice that he would never be able to shake.

It had gotten him in a lot of trouble. It had given him a lot of grief but then and now he had to say that it had been the right thing to do. Even with all the pain that followed. Even with everything he had gone through. No, especially because of what had followed.

The journey he had ended up setting out on because of that one night. Shido was trash but Akira had to thank him for one thing. Setting him on this path that let Akira change not just his life but himself. he was stronger than he had been before. Shido being a bag of trash had ended up helping so many people.

The phantom thieves, the people they ended up helping. That in the end they could take down Shido himself. This could not be taken lightly. Akira had met and helped lots of people that he would have never known about if he had stayed in his hometown. He had experienced a lot of pain.

He had suffered a lot of pain, a lot of heartbreak. Embarrassment and harassment. He had witnessed the moment people lost faith in him. He had gone through all of that to become the person he was now. He had gone through that so that he could lend a hand to all these people. It had been painful then.

His parents, the coach. His classmates, everyone in the district. It had been painful and lonely but what Akira had now more than made up for all of that. It was hard not to smile when he was surrounded by friends. Back then had been painful but as he sat in the van listening to the chatter of his friends, he knew every moment was more than worth it.

X

His hometown was not as small as he made it seem. Granted it was nowhere near as big and bustling as Tokyo. There were big parts and smaller parts. Normal areas and areas that were secluded. Akira would say that his hometown had a decent transportation system even with them so far north.

Heat and cold had never bothered him. He had always seemed to adapt accordingly. It had been an amusing thing to speak of between classes.

When Akira thought of his hometown he had to think and he had to talk about how normal his days had been. He had been a fairly normal kid. Lots of pretty boys at his school so he had blended right in. Not to popular and not shunned either.

That was just how it was so he was not bothered at all about it. He had enjoyed his fair share of confessions. Had friends that supported him and teased him over them. In middle school a senior had confessed to him when he was a first year.

That had been the highlight of Akira’s year even when he turned how down. Then when he had joined the Vault jump team he had been confessed to by a senpai. It had been after practice, after Akira had managed to clear a height on par of his senpais.

In the quiet locker room his senpai had been nervous. It had not been his first confession. It had not been Akira’s first time being confessed to by a guy. Even in their co-ed school he had been popular enough. Even when he never bothered to tame his hair.

Akira had never wanted to date anyone but when his senpai confessed he had felt a twinge of something. He had felt bad about saying no but it was the right thing to do. Their feelings were not equal. Akira admired his senpai. He had enjoyed watching him jump, he was Akira’s inspiration but nothing more. If anything, the senpai that flew through the air was the one Akira was fascinated by.

And he had bet it was the same for the senpai that had confessed to him. They were fascinated by the part of themselves that strived to do better. That fought hard to fly, to improve. Not that the feelings were invalid. It was just that Akira knew the only thing the senpai knew about him was the him that loved to jump and fly.

It was a big part of him, an honest part of him but he could not return the senpai’s feelings. He had wished he could have.

So many people in his class or the ones he hung with between classes. They had different sports, they had different clubs but he was the only one among his friends that jumped. That jumped and was a part of the gymnastics team. He had gotten lots of heat for that one.

He had been unable to stop himself. their school allowed students to join up to two clubs and Akira had been hooked the moment he had seen them inside the gym. They were amazing, they were beautiful and it was everything that he wanted.

It even made his figure when he jumped better. The coach, his senpais told him that after three months of gymnastics. The old him had been proud. He had poured everything into the life he had back then.

Which made the thing with Shido far more painful at the time. He had been normal. Just another kid balancing school and activities. Just another kid until the moment he had not been. He had done the right thing. After cram school, on his way home and he saw a situation. He did what he was supposed to do. He did something.

But because of Shido everything changed. The lies, the arrest. No one believing him. Everyone even his parents turning him aside. The funny thing was that because of that everything had been wiped clean. He was no longer the Akira he had been. All during the entire thing he had been unable to focus. Unable to believe.

He had not wanted to go anywhere or see anything. His first year and everything had already been turned on its head. How could he feel?

The old him just trying to balance clubs and school. The old him that laughed with classmates but was not that close to him. The old him that loved his hometown as much as he thought it needed improvements.

The old him had been afraid and with good reason. He had went from being a normal kid to being thrown away in everyway possible. The town he had grown up in, the school he had loved. The place that he had found for himself. all of that was painful to see and all of those things had turned away from him.

Kicked off all the teams without a single regret. The coach for the team had not even wanted to look him in the eye. His voice had been full of distaste and regret. Akira had felt hurt by the man’s obvious disgust towards him. The gymnastics team had banded together like he had been some sort of violent animal when he had turned up. He had not fought them, just handed in his resignation and turned away. He had thought they were all friends but it turned out it was just him. They were not even acquaintances.

Police glared at him from the moment he left home until he got back inside. He was watched and people whispered. He had thought his hometown was not the small but it was small enough that eyes were constantly watching. People were constantly whispering. The old him had wanted to disappear. The old him had wanted to vanish from all of their sights and thanks to Sojiro he was able to accomplish it. Far away where no one knew anything. A chance to start over. A chance for the whispers to die down. It had been the perfect idea back then.

X

When he looked back to himself just a year ago Akira could barely recognise himself. He had wanted to keep to him, be studious. He had wanted to keep out of trouble and serve his parole. Cause no harm, cause no fuss and put everything behind him just like that.

And how had his school days begun? Ann, Kamoshida. Would things have changed if he had accepted the ride back then? If he had not met Ryuji at that moment? Was there any sense in even thinking about such things now? He had met Ryuji. He had entered the castle and his fate had been determined.

Ryuji who had barely known him had stood up for him. Admirable and right away. Right after that had been Morgana. When Akira thought back to his feelings on Morgana then and the way he felt now. A year was a long time. Still for the rapid change and understanding that had gone on for that change. It honestly felt as though that was not enough time.

Ryuji, Morgana and Ann. The entire Palace thing had started with them and thanks to meeting Yusuke they had decided the directions they wanted to turn with it. They, all of them had changed so much in a year. When Akira had to look at how much things had changed and how much his friends had changed he had to smile. He had to laugh a bit.

The old him that had been clinging to the past and wanting to clear everything up as much as he could. Even himself from an exact year ago. Akira had to think back and laugh at how stunned his past self would be at the person he was now.

The shame, the fear. Those things had bothered him and clung to him. He had tried pushing it out of his mind but it was hard to do that when he had been confronted with all of it every single day. There had been no escape. There had been no mercy. There had been judgment and with that judgement and eyes staring Akira had known no peace.

That was until he had been surrounded by the phantom thieves of course. Thanks to them being by his side he was not just able to see a brighter day.

He was able to make the best of everything. If he could have two minutes with his past selves. The ones a year ago during the incident. A minute with his past self before the incident. Akira would tell them to be strong, keep their chins up because the brighter days were coming along with things, he had not even known he needed.

X

When he had been sent to Tokyo to serve out his parole with Sojiro. Akira had not been expecting to fall in love. He had not been planning to get involved with anyone beyond what was necessary. The plan had been to keep to himself, get good grades. Pretend to be studious and quiet until the year was up and go back home.

That day with Ann, Ryuji and Kamoshida had blown that plan entirely out of the water. There had been no chance in staying quiet or even studious. There had been Morgana, the fact that Kamoshida had it out for him. Everything about his arrest had been exposed. There had been no chance for him to sit still.

But fall in love? Until it had happened to Akira he had not thought it would. Ann was beautiful but she was just a friend. He was close to Ryuji but the feeling was completely different. There was no need for more. But Yusuke?

The moment Akira had seen him the world had shifted. So pretty and his eyes. Akira had maybe fallen for the eyes first. The way he looked, well it seemed as though pretty faces were his type. Sue him. Yusuke was gorgeous on a level that was out of the world and he had been struck.

Having the guy he liked grow to hate him was unfortunate but Akira had been still accepting it as a crush then. Yusuke had been part of a job. They were determined to investigate Madarame after all. As cute as Yusuke was, Akira wouldn’t have done a thing.

Then he had followed Ann to the metaverse. Then he had awoken his persona and Akira had been lost. The cold winds, the persona. Yusuke’s force of will. He had fallen so hard right at that moment for certain. Because with that show of the persona, Akira had seen to the depth of Yusuke’s soul and it was beautiful.

This was not what he had been sent to Tokyo to do. This had not been the plan but since everything had already been changed up anyway why bother? Why fuss? Why even fight it? He accepted it like he did everything else. Accepted that his heart had fallen for the boy that had joined onto his cause.

If he could have shown the moment he had fallen to his past self. Maybe his past self would have laughed at him. He had been awkward. Not smooth in anyway. He had been tongue tied as he accepted the fact that he had fallen in love. Nothing like the past him.

He had made out like a bandit in the old days when it had come to confessions and valentines day. He had accepted no one and there had been others that had done and gotten way better but he had been okay when it came to being liked. Liking someone else? Until he had seen Yusuke, Akira had never thought about how there had not been a single person that made him feel what Yusuke made him feel. And that was just being around him.

X

His past had been maybe just a bit been a little empty. Maybe a little pointless. When Akira looked back to those days yes he enjoyed them. He had been enjoying himself but considering how fast everything had fallen apart for him. And how quickly he had changed, how fast he had learned to adapt.

His younger self, his past self honestly felt a little sad and that in itself was more than a little sad in itself. He had worked so hard. Strained himself even back then and along had come Shido mixing Akira up in his mess.

But maybe all of this was his destiny after all. Because Igor, or at least the fake Igor from then. He had been waiting for him. Akira had not been summoned on a whim. Still, the past him had been brought so low that he had been willing to roll with anything at all.

Had he been so devasted? So crushed? Yes he had but he had risen up and he had managed to get through it all and if that didn’t say anything. Akira had no clue what would. He had come back, stronger than he had been before and the person he was now.

His past self had not even been able to fathom. He had dreamed of things but the dream he had now? The fulfilment? The friends? Past him would have been confused. Past him would have looked at Akira’s new path and his strength and been confused.

Past him would not have been able to do the things he could do and he would be unable to direct the others on their future path.

Back then, he had been going with the flow. These days he fought the flow and did what he wanted to do. He was not going to thank Shido, this had always been in him. Obviously buried deep. It had been sleeping deep inside him. Dormant because there was no need for it.

But in Shibuya he had awoken and not just for his sake. It was for the others that Akira had come forward the way he had. It was for the sake of himself, the people he met along the way that he was able to change and get stronger.

Masks, so many different masks. So many Personas had joined him on his journey to unravel the mystery. Akira wouldn’t say it was easy. Changing oneself and accepting oneself was not easy. It was supposed to be hard in the first place.

But still, when he looked at where he had been trying to go a few years ago and where he was heading now. Well back then he had not felt the ease that he felt now.

X

Akira did not want to say that he thought like a kid but he had to admit, even him from just a bit ago was kind of a brat. He had been thinking some stupid things back then and he really had to laugh at himself now.

God the way he had fallen for Yusuke. When he looked back, what could he say but that he had been a kid in all the ways that mattered? The past them, falling for Yusuke. Yusuke returning his feelings. The things they had spoken of when they had the time. Except, in the phantom thieves there just never seemed to be any time.

They had stolen what little time they could they had managed with what they had. Akira had been balancing their relationship along with being the leader. It had not been easy. Not when he had been fighting to give Yusuke special attention.

He had never thought he would have been that sort of person and he did not want to be the sort of leader that put their lover over everything. He had known Yusuke could handle himself but his heart had still clenched tight in his chest when he gave commands.

Fighting back to back with him, fighting side by side with him. It was a double edged sword. Letting the truth of their souls fly free. That was an experience that Akira would never regret in his life. Ever. The feeling of backing up Yusuke as they fought their way through shadows or having Yusuke come to his defence. Akira would not trade those moments in Mementos for anything.

But his hands still trembled sometimes. There were near misses in Mementos and when he wanted to Akira was never able to do more than hold Yusuke’s hand tightly for a few seconds afterwards. Whisper a few words to him.

He had to save those feelings and the want until later and that was only if he was able to get Yusuke to follow hm back to Leblanc. Or if he was able to take Yusuke out for something to eat before they went home. Even then things had cooled down and there was always something missing from the moment.

Akira had never been able to cast aside his title and leader and attend to Yusuke. He couldn’t it was not the person he was and he knew that it was not what Yusuke wanted either.

Stepping back and letting others attend to Yusuke had been so hard. He had tried his best in the saferooms and rest spots to do his best. He would have never thought with his intense feelings for Yusuke that something like holding his hand in his gloved one could be so soothing.

That going to sleep and watching Yusuke’s face slowly relax could fill his heart in such a way. That he had just met him, just fallen for him and all he could think about was getting one more moment with him. More times by his side. Akira had really and truly been a brat when he looked back at it all. He had not even been thinking for the future. The right now had been too fast pace to look past.

X

He had seriously gone from ‘I don’t want you to go home. I want you to stay don’t go back to the dorms’ to someone that could acknowledge that sometimes people had to separate. Sometimes you had to be away for days and even weeks but as long as you focused on the person and thought to when you would get to see them again you would make it through.

Akira had seriously managed to upgrade just a little bit there. He wished he could tell his self from about six or so months ago that the hollowness in his stomach when he watched Yusuke leave. The feeling that would claw up his throat after he watched Yusuke go back to the dorms.

He wished he could let his past self know that the feeling did not change but it would not be as agonizing as it had been before. It not go away, but it would not be as sharp and nearly physically painful.

And he would learn how to manage things better. How to talk things out, share his feelings and even his fears better. Not as if he was perfect at that now. He had his faults and Yusuke called him out and every single one. He was so cute, he was ridiculously adorable. Akira loved Yusuke and after the year he had he could only look forward.

Back then he had been so scared of even losing a second. He had been scared to think of the days beyond tomorrow. Everything had been happening so fast, there had been so much to do.

It was one thing to whisper about the future in Leblanc’s attic the two of them on their sides in the dark. It was one thing to whisper of what they wanted and how they would never be throw to devastation again. It was onto thing to hold each other, gain comfort from that and whisper these promises to each other.

It was something entirely to fact the facts in the bright morning light. Even though they were the phantom thieves. Even though they were who they were. Even with all of that, Akira had come to Tokyo for a reason and that had not changed. He had been something before he had come to Tokyo and it had been so easy to forget all of that and get swept up in everything.

It had been so simple, so easy to get swept away and forget that one day it would end. That there were things bigger than their whispers. He had gone with the flow and he had kept his mouth shut at times he really should have said something. He knew better now and he had said sorry but, some things he wished he could take back.

He should have relied on Yusuke back then. He should have said something because judging by how everyone had reacted. Yusuke would have done good for his piece of mind back then. Back then it would have been nice to relax on someone’s shoulder. It would have been nice to hold Yusuke’s hand and be himself and not Joker for a bit.

If he could talk to his past self, his self from about just before Christmas, he would have told him to do jus that. Rely on Yusuke more. Be vulnerable around him because Yusuke could take it, because in order to get to the future they needed Yusuke needed to know that Akira could do it.

X

“Leader.” The arms that wrapped around his neck jolted Akira from the daze he had fallen into. “You’ve been so quiet and that’s not something strange.” Ryuji leaned forward so he could try to look at Akira’s face. “But somehow this doesn’t feel like that.”

“It’s been a while since you had your moment through the sun roof.” Ann pointed out as she moved from the backseat to join him in the middle. She tapped Ryuji’s arm until he let Akira go. “What were you thinking about that none of this noise, confusion or childishness?” She called into the back at Morgana gave a yowl. “Disturbed you.”

“I was thinking about us.” Akira smiled. The van fell silent and he found himself meeting Makoto’s eyes in the mirror. “Queen the road.” He laughed before he relaxed in his seat. He slung an arm around Yusuke who was next to him and studied the road ahead of them. “It’s strange you know. just a little over a year ago I was a completely different person with different goals.”

“Nothing wrong with that.” Ryuji muttered before he yelped. “Futaba! Damn your nails hurt. Why do you have long nails anyway?”

“Sit down already. I don’t need to see your butt. I’d rather see the back of Joker’s head.” Futaba muttered. “And not there! Mona was sitting there. Sit where Ann was.”

“I’m coming back!” Ann leaned over to speak to the back seat. “Don’t sit there Ryuji at least move next to Joker. Don’t take my spot.”

“And you call me the child? Come back here already then.” Ryuji muttered. Akira muffled his laughter as there was a bunch of shifted. Ann scrambled around the seats so she could get into the back and Ryuji sighed before he climbed over. “All this noise.” He muttered.

“At least you didn’t have to worry about unstable driving making it worse.” Haru’s voice was cheerful from the front seat. “This entire time Makoto’s been doing so well!”

“It’s actually good considering she just got her license but it’s so by the book that I’m not worried.” Futaba said. “But we got in the way of what Leader was trying to say.”

“Yes you have. Are you prepared to listen now?” Yusuke muttered. The van went silent and Akira hugged Yusuke’s shoulder tightly and fought back his laughter. He barely managed to do so.

“A year ago.” He said softly. “Well a year and some ago, I was in my hometown thinking about completely different things. Worrying about things so mundane that when I look back, I can barely recognize myself and that it was a year.”

“Blame shitty Shido for that.” Ryuji muttered. “You met that guy and everything went to shit.”

“Well not exactly.” Akira laughed. “It’s destiny, don’t you believe that? Because I met him that night, because I made the decision to help that woman. Because I did those things I was put on a path to help so many people. Because of that time.” Akira smiled. “I was able to meet every single one of you. Don’t you think that warrants a little bit of sacrifice. If Shido hadn’t done those things to me. I wouldn’t have been able to help any of you.”

“I don’t believe that.” Yusuke shook his head. Akira watched the way his boyfriend watched outside the window for a few minutes before he sighed. “Because of the things you experienced you may feel that way but I feel like the person you are. That hasn’t changed that much. You were able to deal with these adversaries because of who you are. Because you are the person you are, you were able to come back and you were able to help others.”

“Day one and you didn’t flinch at me dude.” Ryuji said softly. “You had good instincts and while you might have wanted to keep to yourself. You were pretty cool right away. And uh, when everything happened at the castle and stuff and we met Mona. You didn’t stop or anything.”

“When it came to helping me or even talking to me.” Ann laughed from the backseat. “Even making sure I was okay. It’s because of who you were.”

“You had no idea how to handle my situation in the beginning.” Yusuke said softly. “But you kept at it and you worked at it because you genuinely wanted to help not just others but me. You believed in us. All of us so we trusted in you. We follow you because of who you are and the person we see you striving to be. A perfect leader and a perfect friend.”

“Well not perfect.” Akira admitted. “I’ve made mistakes here and there. I’ve been outwitted as a person and a leader too.” He said softly. “I won’t pretend that I’ve been the best. I’ve been developing and changing this entire time especially with you guys right by my side.” He said softly. “I’m so thankful for you guys you know?” He had to laugh. “Because of you, I know exactly how the next chapter of my life should go.”

“Well you’re right about messing up.” The way Yusuke turned away made Akira laugh. He knew exactly what his boyfriend was thinking about. The pout was cute but the hand that squeezed his own. That was adorable and so Yusuke. “Your communication skills has undoubtfully improved since last year.”

“Ouch.” Ryuji whistled before he laughed. “He got you there Joker. Hope it’s true.”

“I won’t make the same mistakes twice.” Akira laughed. “I’m serious.”

X

“Stop for gas? Finally.” Ryuji groaned. “I know it’s a long time and all but seriously dude. It’s been forever since I properly moved my legs. Why am I like this? We spent hours at a time in Mementos didn’t we?”

“That we did.” Akira spoke up. “But Ryuji.” He stressed with a laugh. “This is the real world you know. things are different just as how our bodies are going to be different. And I don’t think we ever spent six hours in the Mona van without getting out to fight some shadows or something.”

“Huh.” Futaba snorted. “Speak for yourself Joker.”

“Futaba the exception.” Akira teased. “But your stamina is low so I’m not surprised you’re comfortable.”

“Futaba also spends many hours not moving just sitting so this trip is to her atvantage.” Yusuke’s hand gently squeezed his. “But I’m looking forward for a quick break even if it is just for gas.”

“Don’t say just.” Ryuji groaned. “Come on dude we need this. I need this.” He stressed. “A good walk around is what we all need. We’ve been in this van, which has held up more than I thought it would considering. We need some fresh air, maybe look at the map-“

“We are going in the right direction.” Makoto gritted from the front seat. “We’re not lost.”

“Didn’t say we were!” Ryuji groaned. “Just well we can’t exactly drive through the night can we? I don’t know if you guys made plans or not but-“

“I did.” Haru sounded excited. “I made plans for the night so don’t worry Ryuji. Nothing too over the top was what I was told so there will be a bit of sharing.”

“Is it cat friendly? I don’t want Mona sleeping in the van.” Ann complained. “He can sleep with one of us.”

“I was planning on keeping him with me.” Haru turned in her seat to look at the rest of them. “I didn’t pick who goes in what room because I thought we would want to decide that ourselves but-“

“I’m with Futaba!” Ann’s cheer was muffled by Futaba’s yelp and a small commotion. “Dibs!”

“Who was fighting you on that?” Ryuji demanded before he sighed. “Well Akira is going to want to be with Yusuke.”

“Exactly.” Akira smiled. “Next time Ryuji.”

“Uh huh.” Ryuji’s tone was dry. “Judging by fox’s face that is going to be a firm never. I’ll live. So what’s going to happen to me? Do I have to share with Mona?”

“Good point. There is a tather uneven number of us.” Makoto muttered. “Haru?”

“Don’t worry Ryuji will get the single room. The rest of us has doubles.” Haru laughed softly. “He can still share with Mona though.”

“I’d rather stick with the classier members of the team.” Mona purred. Ryuji laughed at his response. “What?”

“Fine with me.” Ryuji laughed. “Man I wonder if there is room service.”

XxX

“Next year is going to be hard.” Yusuke said softly. “Or if I’m to be honest. A few months from now. It’s going to be rather difficult Akira.” the wind was blowing through his hair making it messy. They had opted for a quick walk after they had stopped for gas. Ryuji had stayed next to the van. Futaba, Haru and Ann had gone to the bathrooms. So Akira had opted for a quick walk with Yusuke.

“The next few months.” Akira sighed as he thought about it. “You’re right Yusuke.” He said softly. Just thinking about the future made his heart twist a bit. He missed Yusuke and his boyfriend was right next to him. “No more Shibuya.” He could see the sea still if he stared hard enough but it already was a good distance away. “No more easy days.”

“Not for a while no.” Yusuke said softly. His hand found Akira’s and it was hard not to smile at the tight grip that he was treated to. “I already had a taste of what Tokyo is without you. I won’t say that it is easy but I know it will be different this time.” His free hand cupped Akira’s cheek and he leaned into the touch. “At least I know you’re okay.” He said softly. “And I know you’re going to come back to me. If you don’t come back to me fast enough. I’ll come to you.”

“Can I hold you to that?” Akira whispered as he cupped Yusuke’s cheek in his hand. Yusuke’s face was cool to the touch but the way he relaxed into the touch warmed Akira’s heart. “Can I make you swear to that right now?”

“Now.” Yusuke said softly. “Later, forever. I’ll make that promise as many times as you need Akira. if you take too long I’ll be coming to find you. It’s something I had wanted to do.” His smile was bittersweet. “For a long time. I regretted not having the ability to come to you. Now I won’t make the same mistakes twice.” He turned and kissed Akira’s palm softly. “I won’t let time separate us for long.”

“I don’t make the same mistakes twice either.” Akira said softly. “But you have to think ahead too. Don’t make that face.” He laughed when Yusuke frowned at him. “You know what I mean, you know what I’m getting at so don’t make that face. Sometimes you have to suffer a bit in order to gain a lot.”

“What are you thinking?” A simple request but Yusuke’s eyes… they were reminding him of last year so Akira sighed and pulled his boyfriend close to him. He tiptoed a bit so they were forehead to forehead. Meeting each other’s eyes head on.

“I’m thinking of college, of university.” Akira said softly. “My third year is already unavoidable. Sojiro may have offered to house me again.” He smiled and shook his head. “But that’s for holidays. After all there is no way that all of you can make this trip several times a year. Not with Haru and Makoto graduating now and moving on.”

“Don’t assume about what can and can’t be done.” Yusuke frowned before he sighed. “But you are correct about all of that. College, university. We all have burdens to juggle from now on. It won’t be as easy as before and when it comes to this.” He smiled. “I find it may be just a little easier for you to come to us than all of us to come to you.” He paused. “However.” He whispered. “That has nothing to do with me by myself coming to you.”

“I know.” Akira admitted. “But I didn’t want to be selfish. I can’t just get wrapped up and see you all the time.” He brushed back a bit of Yusuke’s hair as he searched his boyfriend’s eyes. “I want to see everyone you know? But I have to think ahead. It’s not going to be easy-“

“Nothing was ever easy.” Yusuke interrupted with a laugh. “I can’t think about one thing that was easy for us. From palaces to balancing activities. We all had burdens to share.”

“Yes we did.” Akira admitted softly. “This year is going to be so hard without you Yusuke.” He whispered. “But if I work hard.” He cupped Yusuke’s cheek tightly. “Push myself and do well. I know I’ll score well. After that I’ll be back and no one can make me leave.”

“Providing you don’t run into trouble again.” Yusuke’s eyes showed how much he was teasing. “Trouble always seems to find you Joker.”

“Well this time I know who to call.” Akira laughed softly. “And with any luck we won’t have to reform the phantom thieves. I would hate to break our promise to Makoto’s sister.”

“She did have a good point about all of this.” Yusuke admitted softly. “Not that it doesn’t rankle a bit. Short lived as we were-“

“It was really short wasn’t it?” Akira asked softly. “When I look back, it was only a year.” He stared into Yusuke’s eyes as he spoke. “Yet it feels ten times as long. I’ve only you for a little under a year Yusuke. Now I can’t imagine a single day without contacting you. I just can’t do it.”

“And I’m the same.” Yusuke’s eyes slid closed as he sighed. “My year was completely different last year and now look at me, look at us.” He shook his head as he smiled. “I truly can’t see myself without you in some form or fashion. Akira, you’ve saved and changed my life completely.”

“You’ve changed and saved me too.” Akira whispered. “And you will keep doing it. The longer you are by my side. The more I’ll change and the better things will be.” He was unsurprised by the kiss that came, he had been craving it himself. Soft, sweet and full of understanding. They had changed each other’s lives. They had fallen in love along the way and Akira could not see that changing one bit.

X

“Ryuji took Mona after all.” Akira mused as he lay across the double bed. “What do you know. I was actually thinking about him coming in here.”

“I think he had enough of Ann and Futaba teasing him.” Yusuke gently draped the towel over the rack and joined Akira on the bed. “While both of them can get on each other’s bad sides, they have their moments.”

“Like little kids yes.” Akira hugged a pillow to his chest as he rolled over. Yusuke had a smile on his face as he sat on the bed watching him. “We’re almost there you know.”

“I know.” Yusuke smiled. “I’m not looking forward to saying goodbye to you but I’m looking forward to seeing the place that you grew up. of seeing the place you called home with my own two eyes. It is going to be an interesting experience.”

“I actually want to show you it too you know.” Akira laughed as he sat up. “The pond I used to go to and goof off by myself. “The land got sold a few years back so we would have to jump over a few fences to get there.” He laughed. “My old schools and I guess my new one too.” He admitted softly. “I want to show all of you where I came from.”

“And we’re eager to see it. You’ve seen so much of us.” Yusuke said as he reached for Akira. there was a soft smoothing of Akira’s hair to which his hair rebelled at before Yusuke spoke again. “I have an image of where you live in my head but I look forward to it changing when we get there.”

“The road trip is fine.” Akira laughed. “I won’t lie about that. It’s been fun this entire time just being with you guys in the van again. I thought we wouldn’t have something like this ever again. That we would maybe drift apart this year the only thing that connected us. I’m glad I was wrong.”

“I can’t believe for a moment that you thought that anything but what has happened would happen.” Yusuke shook his head. “Do you not know us? Know me?”

“Oh I do.” Akira laughed. “I love all of you as well but you have to understand Yusuke. This? You guys?” He smiled and shook his head. “It seriously took me by surprise and I’m glad about that.” He whispered. “I’m so glad that this took me by surprised. I’m glad that you did this because until you guys did this? I didn’t know I needed this. Now I know how to move forward.” He reached for Yusuke’s hand and squeezed it between his own. “Move forward with all of you.”

X

“Ahh.” Akira sighed as they went around the corner. “Here we go.” He sighed as his hometown slowly came into view. “It’s seriously been a year huh.” He gripped the back of Haru’s seat as he peered forward. “I guess it’s directions time huh.”

“Oh I already have that.” Futaba called from the back of the van. “Neat neighbourhood leader.”

“That’s my parents not me.” Akira snorted as they approached and then blew past the welcome sign. “But I’m back.” He admitted, he watched the way that everything got closer and closer. “Doesn’t feel real.”

“I would hope it feels some sort of real considering the trip we took.” Ann laughed. “We stopped by the ocean, we saw a fair. We even crashed at some motel hotel stuff. This trip was very real Leader. What are you on about?”

“Well when I think about how it was just a year ago that I left.” Akira admitted as Makoto took them off the main highway. “And from a glance how little has changed. It feels weird. We had all of that, we did all of that.” He stressed. “And this place.” He shook his head. “It’s like I never left it. I can’t believe that.” He admitted softly. “It’s seriously unbelievable. It’s like I never went anywhere. It makes me wonder about the reception I’ll get.”

“Hey if anyone gives you a rough time-“ Ryuji was cut off with a thump and left giving out muffled noises. When Akira glanced back he saw Ann had wrestled Ryuji back and had a hand clasped tightly across his mouth.

“Ignore the idiot Joker.” Ann rolled her eyes. “If anyone is giving you any heat about what happened last year. Message us, we won’t be with you. By your side but Mona will be there to talk to you.” She laughed.

“How do your parents even feel about Mona?” Futaba asked as she lifted him into her lap. Morgana gave a yelp at the treatment before he sighed loudly.

“My Dad loves cats and we talked about it. About Mona.” Akira smiled before he glanced back outside to the view of his hometown. “Mona’s going to be fat by the next time you guys see him. My Mom thinks it was a good idea to get someone to take care of while I was gone. Since it helped me to focus and keep my head low.” He chuckled as he sat back down. “Sort of.”

“Your parents.” Ryuji said slowly. “They have no clue about what happened right? I mean, from the way that you’ve been talking about this. They knew about the arrest right? They knew where you were but you never talked about them. Did them know about, you know us?”

“I told my mom I made friends.” Akira smiled brightly before he laughed. “The phantom thieves? They don’t know.” He sat back and crossed his feet. “That’s something that would be hard to explain. Without proof they would never believe me. All they know is that I’ve managed thanks to some friends to clear my name. I think that the story sold to them was that Shido tried for me another time and got caught. It’s rather… amusing.”

“Akira.” Yusuke said softly. Akira closed his eyes and gave a deep breath before he nodded.

“I’m not going to be staying around that long anyway.” Akira said softly. “I want to do so many things. Besides, acquitted or overturned. People will still judge me the same.” He watched the moving scenery for a few minutes. “I wonder if I can even get back on the team.”

“Try anyway.” Ryuji said softly. “I’m going back.” Akira knew, he had been in Ryuji’s room. He had seen the weights, he had seen the various protein powders. “You should try again. I know you miss it.”

“Ryuji’s right.” Ann spoke up. “I think that this is the perfect time to try again. Your body is in perfect condition too. You miss it. This could land you a scholarship.”

“And then I could end up at the same college as Ryuji.” Akira laughed as he looked back to meet Ryuji’s gaze. Ryuji offered him a hand and they high fived and broke into laughter. “That would be so neat.”

“Not going to go with Yusuke?” Haru and turned to look back her eyes bit and curious.

“Nah.” Ryuji laughed. “Yusuke’s going to go to some big art college or even study overseas. Even Akira’s stick figures are struggling. It’s not going to happen.”

“Those were doodles and they were supposed to look like that.” Akira laughed. “I’d like to see you do better Ryuji.” He shook his head. “I knew all along that Shujin and Kosei are different schools Haru. Being at the same school as Yusuke would be the perfect dream. So many Shujin students have been teaching me for a whole year what I’m missing out on.”

“That’s just gross.” Futaba complained. “You want to go to the same school to make out?”

“There’s more to it than just making out.” Ryuji complained. “Don’t you understand home much is in this? There is making out. Sure, focus on that.” He scoffed. “Going home together, skipping class together. Seeing each other in the halls.”

“Wow Ryuji.” Ann muttered. “You’ve been thinking about this a lot haven’t you.”

“Yes I have.” Ryuji shot back. “So what? let a guy have his dreams. It’s not going to happen now.” He mumbled. “Now I have to hope in college I land in a circle that has girls just my type.”

“You don’t even have a type.” Yusuke groaned. “Anything is fine for you.”

“Got me there.” Ryuji shrugged. “I’m a healthy guy. Well I guess a girl that’s nice would be nice for once. I’ve been burnt cold in here.”

“Funny.” Makoto shot from the front seat. “Do you want to walk to Akira’s house and back to Tokyo?”

“Ahh.” Ryuji complained. “I’ll just stay quiet about normal guy dreams.”

X

“Christmas is the only time I see any of us having a lot of time free.” Haru was almost apologetic as she looked back at the rest of them. “College, work. Juggling all of these won’t be easy.”

“I know.” Ann sighed. “I’m usually bad at studying but I have to shape up for my third year. I won’t have Akira to guide me through to a decent grade this time. I have to pour everything into this now.”

“Don’t worry, if we have the time we can at least show up to guide you.” Makoto laughed as she drove through the town. Akira took the time to notice the stores that were not open or the ones that looked new. Few things changed in a year but also many things could change in a year. It just got more noticeable when you were not looking. “We won’t let you fail.”

“Man I really hope I get that scholarship.” Ryuji sighed. “My mom wants me to go to college you know? and my senpai, he’s at college now. He thinks I can make it to nationals.”

“I don’t see why you wouldn’t.” Makoto pointed out. “Based on what I’ve seen so far Ryuji, you have a fair shot.”

“Ah, I’ve been better.” Ryuji laughed. “I’m still on my way to improving. My time is still…” He made a groan. “I gotta work on my time and everything.”

“Based on what I remember from middle school and what I saw… you know.” Ann’s voice had dipped. “You’re still good Ryuji. Don’t write yourself out.”

“I’m not-“ Ryuji grumbled. “I’m not writing myself out. I’m facing facts. There are other people just as good or better than me. All as hungry for that scholarship as me. Some will be on the same team as me.” He laughed. “I have to do my best and then some if I want a shot.”

“But we believe in you though.” Ann said softly. “You know that right?”

“I know. I believe in me too, I just see… work ahead. More things to overcome.”

“I agree with Ryuji.” Akira said softly. “There’s going to be plenty of work to be done before I can get a scholarship. If I even manage to qualify for one.” He shook his head. “But jumping aside, academics is also an in. I was top of the list at Shujin. That says something.” He said softly. “It has to. It’s not the end if I can’t jump professionally but I want to.”

“I hope you do.” Futaba spoke up. “You look really cool when you do that. I’d like to see you make it to nationals.”

“I’d like to go there too I think.” Akira admitted. “You see so many people who love the same way you do. Jumping is a feeling-“ He laughed softly. “I love it, I guess you see it in my body. For me, the jump and the fall. Those moments are moments that I’m completely focused on that. People who love it, you see it with their bodies how much you love it.”

“We can tell with you.” Yusuke said softly. “The trust you have in your body. The faith you have in yourself. From the moment you run, to the moment you allow yourself to fall. Your body is poetry in motion. It’s stunning, you can’t look away.”

“You shouldn’t be looking away.” Akira teased his boyfriend. The others groaned and he laughed loudly. “Okay I’ll behave. What Yusuke said is true though. You can’t look away from those who are really good and those who love everything about Pole vaulting. I love it.” He whispered. “And I enjoy watching others who love it as much as I do because you can see it.” He whispered. “You can see the love, the faith. You can see they understand what it’s all about. They know a world that I know, they love the thing I do.”

“It’s the same in any shared sport yeh?” Ryuji asked. “You bond with people because you like what they like. It’s like how Futaba and Mishima can talk for ages and most of us are lost. It’s you know, how I can talk to people from track. They get it, they respect it. But when things are similar you can respect it anyway.”

Akira glanced at his boyfriend to find that Yusuke was already looking at him. “So at Kosei…” Akira trailed off.

“In the art world we may have different beliefs but we do respect each other and our various pursuits.” Yusuke said softly. “But I do tend to understand those that devote themselves to their various passions. Not just those passions that are artistic or craft in nature. I can appreciate beauty in many forms and yourself and Ryuji. When you give yourselves over to your passions you can see it.” Yusuke leaned back into his seat with a smile. “At those moments, you are quite paint worthy. Both of you.”

“Huh.” Came from the back. “Never thought I’d hear that from Inari but I’m all for being surprised on this trip. Ryuji?”

“I learned a lot about art this year.” Ryuji shrugged. “And I kind of get what Yusuke means. Sometimes when I see a picture of myself when I’m running. I look really focused and cool right? Even though everything I’m focused on is running. Nothing is in my head apart from running. But in the pictures, I’m like a completely different person. The switch up is nice.”

“The way you guys are talking right now.” Makoto laughed softly. “Those scholarships are in the bag. That reminds me.” She mused. “Futaba, have you decided what you’re going to do?”

“I’m trying a year at Shujin.” Futaba’s answer made Akira glance at her. “I’m nervous but I think I can handle it. Sojiro’s been talking to the teachers. If I can’t handle something I’ll say so. Besides.” Her laugh was soft and confident. “Ryuji and Ann are still around. And Ryuji’s pretty dependable.”

“He sure has gotten dependable.” Ann snorted. “Going to school seems like a plan.” She paused before she laughed. “I’ve always loved clothes and fashion. I want to push this modelling thing further. See where I can go with it.”

“Designing?” Akira was curious. “Can you see yourself going there Ann?”

“Well…” Ann paused before she laughed. “Actually? Maybe? I have to learn more. Talk to my parents a bit more. There is so much I can learn from others around me. I just know I have to work harder. I love modelling but I want to take it even more seriously.”

“Nice.” Ryuji laughed. “In that case, good luck Ann.”

“Good luck Ryuji.” Akira smiled when Ann gave Ryuji a soft punch to the shoulder. “We can do this. There’s a lot we can accomplish in a year.”

“And plenty that we can accomplish in two years.” Akira spoke up. “Three year and maybe even four.” The van went silent. “One of these days, maybe really soon. All of us need to take a trip. All of us together.”

“A celebration?” Haru was curious. “That would be nice, all of us together. we never did that before.”

“Let’s go to the hot springs!” Ann cheered. “Next year!”

“He was talking about the far future too you-“ Ryuji groaned. “I got what he meant how did it miss you?”

“We’re all going to be in a different place, five or even ten years from now.” Yusuke said softly. His words hushed the van again. “But the bonds that we’ve forged. I don’t see them breaking because of that. We might not see each other for days, maybe weeks.”

“Maybe a few years.” Akira said softly. “But we’ve all got goals in our heads. We know where we want to go. We know what we want. We just have to work our ways there. We get that.” He said softly. “So there may be some time before the entire group can meet up and be together like this.” He paused before he laughed. “It may even end up not being in Japan. That’s fine, we’re going to be together one way or another.”

“Even though our career paths or even studying may take us different places.” Haru agreed. “I don’t see us abandoning each other. Not after everything we’ve done.”

“We’re still getting to know each other after all.” Ann laughed. “I know I would fight until my last breath for you guys. I know you would do the same for me but there are plenty of conversations we still need to have.”

“And see.” Akira waved towards Ann. “It’s things like that, it when I hear words like that. I know for certain that we’ve come a long way. We’ve really matured.” He said softly. “Before, I never could think to the future or even hope and understand like this. Before it hurt to think about. Now, I’m sad but content.” He smiled. “I know I’ll be seeing you guys soon and this trip? This moment? It’s going to warm me until I see you all once more.”

“Joker knows all the sweet things to say.” Futaba whispers. “No wonder Yusuke couldn’t resist.” That got the van laughing. Akira didn’t mind, he laughed along as he noted familiar signs outside the window.

X

“Damn.” Ryuji whistled as Makoto parked. “This is your place? Futaba was right. This is pretty sweet leader.” He had a van on the van door and Akira knew he was just itching to jump out.

“That’s because it is sort of cheap to live here.” Akira protested. “It’s nothing special. The whole area is like this.” That got him stares from all over and he had to laugh. “My parents are good at saving too so there is that.” He peered up at his house with a smile. He had not been here for so long. He wouldn’t say he had missed it. It was just familiar. He had missed a proper bed. He had missed the routine but this was something he could do without.

“Somebody’s loaded.” Futaba whistled. “I bet it’s the mom.”

“Well…” She wasn’t wrong but his mother had never spoken about it so Akira had never asked. Never seemed important in the scheme of things. They were how they were and his parents had always told him to earn his way through life. Maybe that was another reason why it had been so easy to leave and not look for help. He had never expected help from them. “I everyone around this particular area.” He laughed. “Have a little going on.”

Ryuji opened the door and Akira watched him climb out. Ann was quick to follow. Then Haru and Makoto’s doors opened. Futaba slipped out Morgana in her arms.

“Are you prepared?” Yusuke asked softly. Akira smiled at his boyfriend as his friends crowded around his front gate. The door was a cool blue, his mother had painted the whole house over it seemed. A fresh start, it didn’t seem like a bad idea at all.

“I’m fine. I’m prepared.” Akira squeezed Yusuke’s hand. “Besides, I’m not staying here forever. Just until I get my future sorted out. I don’t want to be that guy living off my boyfriend.” He teased before he slid out the van. He registered the front door opening even as he moved to stand in front of all his friends.

His Dad was the first person out. His apron still on, a curious look on his face until he saw Akira. His mother was next in her house clothes. Her face brightened when she saw him and changed to confusion when she saw the others behind him. The look of pleasure let him know that he had been missed somewhat. He had doubted, just a little bit.

“Mom, Dad.” Akira said as he stepped forward. Yusuke stepped forward with him and that warmth made him relax and smile. “I’m home.” He looked behind him to the others and grinned. “I’ve brought some friends for you to meet.” He grabbed Yusuke’s hand and held it up. “And someone… really special.” Wherever destiny led him after this. He would always have his friends. That was for certain.


End file.
